"It’s the day after Valentine’s Day. The garbage cans are all filled with empty chocolate boxes, pink envelopes and valentines. If you forgot it was Valentine’s Day yesterday and you’re currently dating someone, to put it bluntly, you’re fucked. But fear not. Release has come to your rescue once again. Need an excuse as to why you screwed up yesterday? We’re here, ready with excuses, for your disposal (we’re looking at you fellas). Use with discretion. (Pipe Dream and its affiliates hold no responsibility for the actions that may or may not happen after using these excuses.)
1. “I forgot about Valentine’s Day because I was too busy planning our anniversary date!”
Nothing says “you’re special” like remembering your anniversary date. It’s stupid, but the fact that you remembered your anniversary will mean a lot to her … enough to make her forget about your Valentine’s Day forgetfulness. The only downside to this excuse is you actually have to remember your anniversary for this to work. Also, you have to come up with a kick-ass anniversary date. If you can’t, chances are you don’t want to use this excuse without digging yourself further into the hole.
2. “I didn’t forget! I just thought you wouldn’t buy into such a commercial holiday! I think of you as too much of a sensible, intelligent person to care so much about Valentine’s Day.”
This works with the cool-headed, liberal girl who is either vegetarian, wears a lot of hemp (read: smokes a lot of weed) or cares a little too much about the environment. Best part about this excuse is that if she really is the “liberal type” (even if she fakes it) she’ll feel guilty about getting mad over such a commercial holiday that you’ll be off scot-free.
3. “Baby, what are you talking about? We celebrated Valentine’s Day! I took you out to dinner and everything!”
This excuse only works for the girls who drink themselves into a coma every night. You can convince them that you indeed had a romantic date at Number 5 and went back to your place for some wine and sex and that she just drank too much, blacked out and forgot. Fortunately for you, it’s Binghamton and blacking out happens frequently to us students. Unfortunately for you, a lot of girls who go here can hold their liquor. If you’re dating one of these girls, this excuse will not work for you.
4. “I didn’t think we needed a holiday to show our love. Don’t you love me everyday?”
This excuse works because you’re making your significant other feel guilty about doubting your love. Now that they feel guilty they won’t harp on the fact that you forgot about Valentine’s Day. Plus the guilt trip you’re giving them might end up in an awesome post-Valentine’s night for you.
5. “At least I didn’t break up with you!”
Caution: Only use this as a last option! This sounds really insincere and terrible but it actually might work. A lot of people break up with their boyfriends/girlfriends before Valentine’s Day so they don’t have to deal with buying presents and all that jazz. The fact that you’re still together really does show you want to be with them. Just be prepared for the possible slap in the face that might occur before you’re about to explain this."
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